December 6, 2013
Dear Mrs. Creasey's Class,
When you read, unfortunate consequences may ensue. For example, your friends might think you are anti-social. Reading is an independent activity; you read by yourself. When you do this, you ignore your friends. You might even forget that you have friends! They may abandon you because they think you like your fictional friends more than your real friends. Do you really want to lose your friends because you are lost in a book?
Why do you you need to read? Animals don't read and they lead a peaceful, productive life in the world. Animals can be protective and loyal without the burden of reading. They can do jobs and even earn good salaries! Because they don't read, many animals have much better eyesight than humans.
Worst of all, you could DIE because of reading! It starts with a book that you can't put down. Many large books take a week or even a month to read. In that time, you could forget to eat or drink and then die of starvation or dehydration. Do you want to perish from this earth because of a book?
Please save yourself from these disastrous perils and stop reading now!
Sincerely,
Mr. Schneider
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